Like it was supposed to be
by TheContamination
Summary: Faramir has a dream that makes him wonder about life. Quite angsty. But it's one of my better fics. Rated T to be safe there's a little steamy piece at the start. Beta'd by Scarlet Darkness. Reviews would be loved :D


**A/N  
**Thank you to my lovely beta _Scarlet Darkness. _You are amazing.

I could not sleep. My dreams were so vivid, like I was watching it all over again. It was a recurring dream about Osgiliath being taken from the people and cast into darkness. Except this time I did not survive, I did not see the return of the King, I did not meet Eowyn, I did not father any children, and I was dead just like the rest of my family. Just like it was supposed to be.

'Faramir, move over! You're taking up all of the bed!' Eowyn joked, playfully batting my arm in an attempt to make me move.  
'But love, why should I move over when you could just lie on me?' I said wickedly, spreading my arms to welcome her into my embrace. It didn't hurt that the children were all attending their lessons until  
lunch. We were all alone.

'Faramir, would you be proposing that we... that we ha-' I cut off her sentence with a passionate kiss and straddled her, leaving her helpless. The kiss deepened and Valar help me, I needed her. Her hands roaming my body making shivers shoot down my spine and her body seemed to be wanting this just as much as mine. Her beautiful body was soon exposed to my eager eyes and wandering hands. She really was the most beautiful thing I had ever had the pleasure of setting eyes upon.

'Faramir' Eowyn moaned as I kissed from her lips down to the sensitive spot on her neck. The morning continued on until we were both naked, chests heaving, lights  
bursting and hearts beating fast in our chests.  
'Well I must say, my Lord, you have again outdone yourself.' Eowyn gasped  
'I'd do anything to keep my lovely wife smiling' I said wickedly.

Later that day, at lunch

'My Lord, are you well?' Eowyn asked, concern obvious in her voice after noticing my vacant and somewhat serious expression.  
'Yes, I'm fine. Just had a bad dream'. I assured, smiling.  
'You did not mention this bad dream this morning, did you?' Eowyn replied cheekily, her eyes sparkling with memories of the morning's events.

'No, indeed I did not. We shall discuss this later. We are at the table and that subject is far too heavy to be thinking on when we should be eating. Elboron?'  
'Yes Ada?' My eldest son replied, turning his bright eyes to meet my own.  
'How were your studies today?'  
'They were perfectly fine Ada, I learnt more about Sindarin grammar today and  
Teacher said my archery was by far the subject I excelled at.'  
'Well done Elboron. I'm very proud of you, you are definitely my son! Elliriel  
my sweet, how are your lessons going?'  
'Ada, I do not like my Teacher, she is far too strict. I cannot even breathe out of turn! I swear she hates me! Adar, she made my pull my hair back! I do not like that! I hate it! You know I do! I wish to stop lessons; I could follow Mama around and learn from Mama! Oh please, Adar, oh please, oh please, oh please!'

I do not like to admit it but Liri has me wrapped around her little finger and she has done since I first laid eyes on my beautiful daughter but I could not let her follow Eowyn, we were trying to have another child. We already have Elboron who is now 8 summers, Elliriel who is just 6, and Beren who has just turned 3 but we are hoping for another sweet girl.

'Liri my sweet, You cannot follow mama, for she is busy with the duties of running a house. Your mama does get tired and does not need your questions every minute of the day. I love you, Elliriel, I do, but you are the daughter of the Steward, and you need to be educated. Many people in this fair realm do not have the chance to be educated. Find yourself lucky that you get the best education available.'

My heart sank when I saw my Liri saddened by my harsh words but my heart leapt  
again when I got a grumbled reply of 'I love you too Ada.'  
'Right my children! We need to carry on with the day's duties and lessons. Boron, you have your Sindarin homework to do now. Liri, you have your lessons and Beren, you are going with Ada now. Everyone have a good day and we will meet again at dinnertime.' Eowyn said as she was clearing up the table.

I walked up behind her and gave her a quick kiss on the back of her neck to which Elboron protested 'ADA! Not at the table! Nobody wants to see that! That is  
disgusting!' I chuckled away as I went to go get my young son and take him out  
for a walk in the beautiful fields of Ithilien.

Evening

After dinner had been eaten and my dearest children had all been tucked in and been read stories of the fabled time during the War of the Ring, they were now all fast asleep.

'Faramir? My love? Are you still awake?' Eowyn was sleepily asking.  
'Yes love I am awake still. Are you needing something?'  
'No my love. What was the dream that ailed you last night? You were obviously  
troubled this morn.'  
'Love, it was nothing. Just had a dark dream about what could have been.' What  
should have been. I do not deserve this blissful life I lead. What did I do to deserve it? Nothing.

'Love, sleep. You are fine. Wake me if these dreams plague you again during  
the night. I will make the fears depart! For I am a brave sheildmaiden of Rohan!' Eowyn joked, 'I am going to sleep love. I love you Faramir. Sweet dreams.'  
'Sweet dreams, indeed, my love.'  
Despite the positive words of my dear wife, I fear that dreams this night will not be sweet.

I woke in a fright. Sweat dripping off my body, my chest was heaving, and I had a terrible feeling of nausea. This time I could see what would have happened if I had died. Queen Arwen had sailed across the sea to Valinor and Aragorn had chosen my Eowyn. My beloved children fathered by the dark-haired Ranger from the North. Elboron had Aragorn's features, not mine. Elliriel had the raven hair of the King.

Sweet little Beren had Aragorn's deep eyes and not my grey orbs. My heart broke in my chest. Someone else had everything I have now. Using my skills of stealth from  
my Ranger days I stole silently away from the home which I shared with my family. I needed to think, I needed to get out, I needed to breathe. I walked silently to the stables where I found my horse Lainnan. Her name means free grassland and that is where she will take me.

Dawn was now breaking. I needed to pull myself together. This is silly. It was a dream. Nothing more. My dear wife and children were asleep, and they were mine. After wiping the tears away from my face, I remembered that some men don't have what I do. Many do not have beautiful wives, adoring children, a gorgeous home and many other things. Yet I was standing here weeping about it. Stupid man! No wonder Father hated me. That thought alone stopped me dead in my tracks. I could not believe that even in death, he still haunted my thoughts, still haunted my steps.

Lainnan nudged my shoulder and neighed softly, ' I know, mellon nin, it will be time to leave soon. I am in need of the comforts of my wife, but not just yet. A few more moments of peace.' I walked around the beautiful grasslands of Ithilien for just a few more moments and revelled in the sweet silence of nothingness.

Lainnan nudged my shoulder once more to get my attention. It was getting lighter, so it was, indeed, my time to come home. I had had my fresh air and considered thoughts which needn't be plaguing my every waking moment. Right now, all I could ask was to be at home with my perfect family, my Boron, Liri and sweet Beren; and I couldn't forget my lovely wife.

As I sat astride my horse, a magnificent gift from my brother in law, I whispered a little Sindarin to her 'Noro lim, noro lim Lainnan!' Obeying my whispered commands, she carried me swiftly home to the arms of my most likely worried and waiting wife.

**A/N  
**Righto. I have come to a point where I'm not sure if I should continue or if I should just leave it at that.  
Again. Thank you to my AMAZING beta _Scarlet Darkness_, You amaze me!  
So leave a review saying whether I should keep it going, or leave it.  
Thank you guys so much :D


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